Facing our challenges head-on!
Challenges Women Face

May 2, 2017

Dear Julie:

I met my child’s father when I was 15. Fell in love and dated for 9 years. We had short break ups throughout the years; however, we were young and immature. I cheated and pushed his buttons, and in turn he was physically abusive when the arguments got out of hand a few times throughout those years also.

I never forgave him for when he put his hands on me, so the last two years of our relationship I was bitter and put in zero effort. So I then decided a year and a half ago to sell everything I owned, and take myself and our child to another state, where recently my mother relocated also. So I had family around but a whole new place to get away and start over.

Soon after moving, my mother set me up on a date with a young man she met. Fast forward to now, he is an amazing man. We live together and have for a year. My son loves him, and he treats us both like gold. He works hard to provide and gave me the option to stay home and go back to school, like I’ve always wanted, and for me to spend time with my son.

You’d think I’d be the happiest young woman in the world, but I’m not. I’m constantly battling major depression, and all I want to do is run back to the state where my child’s father is. And possibly work things out with my child’s father. And it’s so confusing because my heart and mind tell me two separate things. Sometimes when I look at my boyfriend, I see my child’s father’s face. I miss him dearly. But feel such guilt if I were to leave him and go back to what I ran from. Yet a year and a half here and I’m as depressed now as I have been since moving here. Please give your advice!—Depressed and Needing Advice


Dear Depressed:

All I can suggest is that you put your child’s welfare above your own. The one man fathered him but treated you terribly. The other one treats you both with love and respect. It’s not unusual to have a lifelong tie to your first love. But why would you ever want to go back to what you described? Fantasizing about an abusive man who likely has not changed is not healthy.

My advice to you would be to thank God for bringing a kind and loving man into your life. Then marry him and provide for your child and yourself a stable and loving home.

God bless you. Julie


Remember, friends, as challenges come our way, we can face them head-on
through Christ who strengthens us!

If you wish Bible-based advice for a challenge you face, leave a message in the Contact Me box (NOT below in the Comment box) and I’ll answer confidentially on this page. No one will see your photo or name or any other identifying information.

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