Figuring This Out

Facing Our Challenges Head-On

November 13, 2015

Dear Julie:

I’m in a terribly stressful period in my life. I gave up my home not necessarily by choice but while dealing with personal family issues my home was left abandoned & ultimately made not livable because of vandals. My daughter has been living with her dad & now grandmother because of behavior issues which are getting much better!

I was living with my friend’s mom & then my friend’s son…then I didn’t want to live on anyone so I went to a shelter. I’ve been trying to still help other people, get a house, & maintain my car note (& now that’s been repossessed) & I’m living with friends & trying to get a house.

I think how much money I’ve put out helping others that I never got back because they weren’t able. It seems people take no consideration of my circumstance as much as I speak on it!

I’m frustrated and don’t know where to start to get back on track…I cry, I pray & still no relief. I’m depressed, I’m angry & it hurts. I just want a good life & place that’s mine so I can reconnect with my daughter & just live my life. Ive had some family help but not much & when I’ve reached out its been ignored so I take that as me needing to figure this out on my own & do this the best way I can. I just can’t seem to get a good game plan to start pulling out of this rut & now with no car its even harder. –Figuring this out on my own


Dear Figuring:

Believe it or not, I think you’re in a good place. You’ve done a lot of living and have discovered what does NOT work. Now it’s time to do what does work. The best way to begin that process is to spend time in the Bible (especially the Book of Proverbs) where you will learn Biblical principles that work when trying to live successfully.

You say you want to make a good game plan. Great idea! Let it begin with a commitment to find work. Do an online job search, and ask around for leads. Let your friends and family know you are serious about making changes in your life. No car? Use public transportation. In the end it could prove to be a blessing not to have the extra insurance expenses as well as parking, gas, etc. If public transportation is not available, try to find a carpool.

As soon as you are able, find housing you can afford. (I love that you’ve been so generous with others. It’s always good to help others. Absolutely. But you can’t help others financially when you have little to give. That puts you in a position of having to rely on others for your own needs. And, in the end, that can damage relationships.)

Make it a priority to pay your bills first, every month. It could take some time but eventually you’ll establish a good credit rating that will help you gain respect in the community. Prove that you can be the mother your daughter needs.

You can do this, my friend, when you stand on your own two feet, leaning only on God. You’re stronger than you think and, with God’s help, nothing is impossible. May He help you make the first step and then each successive one until you reach your goals.


Remember, friends, as challenges come our way,
we can face them head-on
through Christ who strengthens us!

If you wish Bible-based advice for a challenge you face, leave a message in the Contact Me box (NOT below in the Comment box) and I’ll answer confidentially on this page. No one will see your photo or name or any other identifying information.

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