“Comfort ye, comfort ye my people,” (Isaiah 40:1)

December 29, 2017

Dear Julie:

I love my boyfriend and he loves me. We’ve been through a lot, basically me, but I had to fight for him at first because I wasn’t the only person he claimed to love…but now we are together and after our year anniversary, I sometimes question our relationship because he sometimes lies to me. He has betrayed me before….he’s hurt me before… my question is …what if you’re in love with someone after they have hurt you and everything, but you feel as if it’s wrong. I don’t know what to do.—Hurting
Dear Hurting:

It’s not wrong for you to love. God has put a giant-sized need in each of us to love and be loved. But what’s wrong is your boyfriend’s treatment of you.

People, especially women, often put up with this kind of hurtful behavior for various reasons. Maybe they don’t believe they deserve better. Maybe they feel guilty over something they’ve done and figure this is payback. Maybe they’ve been made to feel they aren’t worthy of better treatment. If any of these descriptions fit your case, you need to take a good hard look at what’s going on in your life.

The kind of love that will make you happy is described in the Bible (in the book of I Corinthians 13:4-7). “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.”

Now I realize that there are few of us who can display that kind of love all the time. In fact, it’s impossible without God’s help. But, believe it or not, there are men and women across the country (usually, but not always, found in churches) who are striving to become this kind of lover.

Here’s my suggestion–challenge your boyfriend with this Bible passage. Maybe he’d be willing to let God help him become a loving person. If he’s NOT willing, show him the door; and, while you’re waiting for a godly loving man, work on becoming a more godly loving woman.

Be brave, dear heart. I feel confident many of our readers will join me in praying for you to find someone who will treat you with love and respect.


Remember, friends, as challenges come our way, we can face them head-on through Christ who strengthens us!

If you wish Bible-based advice for a challenge you face, contact me here (NOT below in the Comment box) and I’ll answer confidentially on this page. No one will see your name or any other identifying information.

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