Let Down

Facing our challenges head-on!
Challenges Women Face

August 15, 2017

Dear Julie:

I’m married to a man who has treated both my children and me very poorly throughout the years with emotional and verbal abuse. He is 17 years older than me. We have been married 4 years and have only lived together 8 months. I’m seeing changes in him. He is coming around somewhat.

His daughter suddenly died a few months ago, and I was there for him. I drove him to the funeral, and stood by his side throughout everything, even now. But now he wants to find his own church instead of going with me to mine, and he wants to talk to random women who want him and are disrespectful to me, and he feels he’s not doing anything wrong. I feel I did what God told me to do, and all I want is for him to love me the right way . . . respect me, recognize the woman I am in Christ.

I’m getting so weary and it’s hard waiting for it. I know Christ wants better for me, but I don’t know if there’s a plan or I’m continuing to be a fool. Please help me. –Let Down


Dear Let Down:

Your primary concern must be for your children’s welfare. If you see changes in your husband that would cause you to believe he’ll treat all of you better, then maybe you should stay with him and pray that the Lord will completely change his heart.

I applaud your generosity in helping your husband mourn the loss of his daughter, and I hope that you will continue to pray for your husband and for your marriage. BUT just know that God’s plans for you are good and not evil, to give you a future and a hope (Jeremiah 29:11). You don’t have to stand by and watch your husband fall into adultery. Instead, tell him that you expect him to honor his marriage vows, and that you won’t stand by and let him dishonor you and the family. The choice is his. Stay and be respectful, or go.

I’m suggesting separation at this point, not divorce, in hopes this time apart will cause him to wake up and treat you right. If not, then unfaithfulness is cause for divorce in God’s eyes according to the Bible.

God bless you.


Remember, friends, as challenges come our way, we can face them head-on through Christ who strengthens us!

If you wish Bible-based advice for a challenge you face, leave a message in the Contact Me box (NOT below in the Comment box) and I’ll answer confidentially on this page. No one will see your name or any other identifying information.

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