Made to Look Stupid

Facing our challenges head-on!
Challenges Women Face

August 31, 2017

Dear Julie:

I’ve been meaning to write you for a while but my deep depression has set in like never before. I’ve been going through a divorce where things just kept getting worse. Last court date I was excited to finally have it be over with. In the process of this divorce, I’ve done everything my husband and his attorney wanted me to. He tried to say I wasn’t a good mom because I used to do drugs. I knew he was going to make an issue of that so I came to my first court date with a hair follicle test. My second court date they made me walk across the street to a place he wanted me to go since he was paying. I got the most intense detailed test. Passed that one too. But in January since I had no attorney (long story), I was completely belittled. He told the judge I don’t even ask about the kids, which is a lie. I have plenty of text messages to prove it.

Bottom line: the judge and my husband’s attorney took everything I said for a joke. I felt so small in a room full of men. The judge said he doesn’t believe I’m capable of not being on drugs (when I’ve taken and passed two tests in a year) and the kids are better left with him. What bothers me is no one really talked about me being a mom just about everything else. I can’t see or talk to my kids. I never put my kids in danger. I would even think my kids and all their friends came first. I fed the whole neighborhood. My neighbors and my family would vouch for that.

When I left the courthouse that day, half of me died. I didn’t even want to go on with life. I never in a million years thought I’d ever be going through this. Since then I’ve lost my job, and I can’t even concentrate on anything because I’m so depressed. I’ve had friends and family write emails about this situation and am planning on putting a packet together for the judge. If this doesn’t work, I really don’t know what to do. –Made to Look Stupid


Dear Friend:

More than anything, dear one, you need to run to God. It seems He’s the only one that can really help you find your way out of this quagmire. Is there a good Bible believing church nearby that you can plug into? Get to know the pastor and ask him to recommend a Christian counselor that can get you on the right track. Read scripture, attend church, pray. Once your soul is at peace, you’ll be better able to concentrate on getting a job and proving that you can take care of yourself and your kids.

When you have established a good track record, put your packet together full of recommendations from friends, family, your pastor, and your employer. Because of your bad experience in court feeling outnumbered by condescending men, try to find yourself a powerful woman attorney and let her coach you on how to behave in court for the best effect. I’m praying you’ll find comfort in knowing that nothing is impossible with God and that he has a plan for your life to give you a future and a hope (Jeremiah 29:11).

God bless you, Julie

Remember, friends, as challenges come our way, we can face them head-on through Christ who strengthens us!

If you wish Bible-based advice for a challenge you face, leave a message in the Contact Me box (NOT below in the Comment box) and I’ll answer confidentially on this page. No one will see your name or any other identifying information.

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