Needing Advice

 Facing our challenges head-on!
Challenges Women Face

November 18, 2016

Dear Julie:

I have been out of a 6-year relationship with a guy I thought was my one. Almost two years later I can’t seem to move on. It was a very volatile and hostile relationship with ups, downs, highs, and lows. We brought a child into our life 4 years ago. I was devastated when he walked out on me and our child. It was a type of bond where it could be great when it was going good and the worst when it was bad. I realize it wasn’t the healthiest bond we had but it was unlike any other I had ever experienced. It was a love/hate feeling that could move from one extreme to another so quickly. I know he’s moved on. I know he’s gone and am starting to realize he’s not coming back ever again. But I feel lost,empty and stuck waiting for someone who never will come back.

I know we’re both better off without each other–the logical side of me knows this but my heart just can’t let go. I know everyone says it’s time to move on with my life, but I just can’t seem to do it. I can’t figure out why I can’t let go, what I’m holding onto, and why.

I know it’s a leap of faith to trust God to lead me to my next chapter but I don’t want to go into this new unknown chapter learning how to be alone. I’m scared I’m resisting the shift that’s trying to move me forward into a new place in our lives, but I just want our old life back. I can’t make any sense of this at the moment and don’t feel any peace or contentment or joy in life. I feel like I’m just going through the motions trying to get by instead of being happy for everything I still have. I know I have much to be grateful for in my life but, without him here with us, it all just feels pointless.

I need advice on what i need to do to close this part in my life and move forward. I know me and my child deserve so much better than this; I just don’t know how to do it. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.–Needing Advice

Dear Needing Advice:

It’s hard to let go of an intimate relationship, especially one that has brought  a child into the world. You wish the relationship could be as sweet as the baby it produced. But obviously it was not.

Although you are struggling with your emotions, deep down you already know what to do. You know you’re better off without each other. You know you need to move on and close this part in your life. You know you and your child deserve so much better than this. And you admit you don’t know how to do it. You say your heart can’t let go.

You say it’s a leap of faith to trust God to lead you to your next chapter. But let me tell you, with God you won’t be alone any longer. He promises never to leave or forsake you. He is faithful. He is wise. He is love. He is powerful. He is good. He is the best thing that ever happened to me. Others will tell you the same thing. God will lead you in paths of righteousness, into a new life that will surpass anything you have ever experienced in the past. Sure it’s an unknown chapter for you, but God knows what He’s doing.

I urge you to trust Him and to move into your future with expectancy. A verse in Isaiah says, “Thou [God] will keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on thee because he trusts in thee” (26:3). And in John 10:10, Jesus says, “I have come that [you] may have life, and have it to the full.” With God’s help you can do this (Philippians 4:13).

I  will be praying for you and urge our readers to also pray for you that you may experience all God wants you to have. Julie


Remember, friends, as challenges come our way, we can face them head-on
through Christ who strengthens us!

If you wish Bible-based advice for a challenge you face, leave a message in the Contact Me box (NOT below in the Comment box) and I’ll answer confidentially on this page. No one will see your photo or name or any other identifying information.

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