Not Fair

Facing our challenges head-on!
Challenges Women Face

March 29, 2016

Hello Julie:

Back in July I helped my son’s father by providing a home for him cause he had nowhere to go. After a couple of months went by, me and him got into a bad argument. He told me he was in a relationship with another woman, and he left me and his son and stayed with the chick he said he was going with.

When he got down there he got a job, and not one time did he ever send me money. Christmas day he brought his son a bunch of things, but after that nothing. I still used to let him visit his son, but I felt that it was wrong for me to spend my money on my son and him not do nothing but spend his money on him and his girlfriend.

Right now I completely cut him off, and to be honest I’m glad I don’t have to deal with him, because at this point in my life I feel free and happy. I don’t have to worry about nobody treating me and my son wrong, my question is am I wrong to keep my son  away even though he does not have my back or provide for his son? -Not Fair


Dear Not Fair:

First I have to ask if you were married to this man and/or if his name is on your son’s birth certificate? That could make a difference in your state as to whether you are entitled to child support. Do an online search on how to get legal assistance (free or on a sliding scale) in your state. Learn about how much you can limit visitation and also how you can enforce child support.

Here’s something to consider. Down the road there may be medical reasons that would necessitate contacting him so I wouldn’t write him off completely. However, you have every right to limit the contact he has with you and your son. You pay the bills, you do the child-raising, you do it all. So, if he wants to see his son, he should have to do it when it works for you. And I would also be careful not let him back into my life as he seems to be nothing but trouble and disrespect.

I’ll be praying for wisdom and hope things work out for you and your sweet boy.



Remember, friends, as challenges come our way,we can face them head-on
through Christ who strengthens us!

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