Facing our challenges head-on!
Challenges Women Face

August 19, 2016

Dear Julie:

My husband and I have been married for 9 yrs but we have been separated for the last 2 yrs. We have been together for 17yrs total. We are cordial to each other and talk everyday on the phone or see each other. However he has been in and out of prison since the beginning of our relationship.

I have grown spiritually and now have a more intimate relationship with God. My husband and I have lied, cheated, hurt each other etc. I have hope that God will restore our marriage if it be in line with his will.

Now my husband has been living with a woman for the last year that he had an affair with. Three weeks ago he had a stroke, had bleeding on the brain, and had to have 2 surgeries. He is awake now and recovering. He says he loves me and is sorry. The woman that he was living with comes to visit him but leaves when I come. He says she wants him to come home with her and he says he is going to his wife (me). Now, I do love my husband and I pray that this is God’s way of restoring our marriage.

My husband and I had different childhoods. He never really knew how to love and receive it. Myself, I was stubborn, knew everything, wasn’t letting God lead me. Now he wants us to try again and I am scared. Is that natural?–Scared

Dear Scared:

I’d say it’s very natural for you to be scared. Your past history together has been rocky and even though you have deepened your spiritual walk with the Lord, it takes two to make a marriage work.

Perhaps it would be wise for you to slow down. Yes, be there for him while he recuperates. Yes, demonstrate to him how you have changed because of your relationship with God. And tell him if he is sorry and wants to go to his wife, you expect him to change his behavior to demonstrate how sorry he is. You should be able to discern as time goes on whether he is truly sorry or wants the comfort of a wife to care for him until he is ready to return to his wild ways.

On the other hand, you are still legally married and if you want to continue that marriage, read what I Peter 3:1-2 says. “Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without talk by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives.” While he’s convalescing, you will have an opportunity to live your faith before him.

The idea here is that when your husband sees the changes God has made in you, he will be won over to Christ as well. Of course, that may not happen, in which case he may want to get as far away from purity and reverence as he can. You’ll have to let him go. I Corinthians 7:15 says, “But if the unbeliever leaves, let him do so. A believing man or woman is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace.”

So, yes, it’s natural for you to be scared. A lot is at stake here. More than ever you need to depend on God and deepen your relationship with him. He is the only one you can always depend on. He will never let you down. Don’t underestimate his love for you and for all who call on his name. Maybe this IS “his way of restoring your marriage.” Only time will tell. You are in my prayers.

God bless. Julie


Remember, friends, as challenges come our way, we can face them head-on
through Christ who strengthens us!

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