Searching for Happiness

Facing our challenges head-on!
Challenges Women Face

September 16, 2016

Dear Julie:

About 10 months ago me and my one and only guy best friend of 10+ years decided to try a relationship. Me personally, I knew that he was a handful considering everything we would discuss about his female partners over time. Thinking I meant way more to him and he loved me just as much as I loved him, I just knew that it would work with no problem.

About a day in, I noticed a change about him that wasn’t there in our friendship, such as communication. I felt that he didn’t want to crowd my space or something of that sort. I reached out to him and explained that everything he was welcomed to do as ‘just a friend’ he was welcomed to do now. Things got better soon after that but not for long. Eventually we were so distant that we would only talk once a day. By then I was so deep into making this work and not giving up on him that I would accept this although I voiced that it was a problem daily.

Time went by and it began to be only a sexual fling. I knew it was wrong and I wasn’t raised to accept that but I yearned for his love so much that if sex was the only way to feel it in return, I would take it without a second thought. I pray everyday that God will bring us back together for yet another try but it seems more and more less likely by the day. There has even been times where I’m crying on my knees begging God to take away the hurt.

Right now I am at a point where I’m growing through this slowly but the situation as a whole is draining my happiness more and more. I don’t know what to do to even find myself again. I don’t know the first step in stealing my happiness back. Internally I am more hurt by the fact of me losing the ONLY person I had in my corner. Am I simply just praying wrong?–Searching for Happiness
Dear Searching for Happiness:

You, and possibly he, have discovered you lost a wonderful friendship of 10 years by allowing it to become something other than friendship. The decision to “try a relationship” has deteriorated into a sexual fling. You don’t need me to tell you how much you both lost.

Because of your long-standing friendship, have you considered TRYING to recapture what you had before. I don’t know if it’s possible for you to erase the past 10 months. I don’t know if you even want to. But I hear that you don’t want to lose the ONLY person you had in your corner. Possibly he doesn’t want to either.

In the future, I’d caution you to be wiser about relationships. Surely you know that, while marriages often break up, they do offer you the best chance of stability and long-term happiness. Wait for Mr. Right (not Mr. Perfect, but Mr. Right) and take it slowly and deliberately.

You ask if you are praying wrong. Here’s what I think. How can you ask God to bless a relationship like this? Instead ask Him to guide you into one that will make you happy. He won’t lead you wrong. And, by the way, remember this: God is always in your corner, knocking on your heart’s door, inviting you to follow him in paths of righteousness. That’s where you’ll find true happiness. God bless, Julie


Remember, friends, as challenges come our way, we can face them head-on
through Christ who strengthens us!

If you wish Bible-based advice for a challenge you face, leave a message in the Contact Me box (NOT below in the Comment box) and I’ll answer confidentially on this page. No one will see your photo or name or any other identifying information.

Leave a Reply