Seeking Solitude

 Facing our challenges head-on!
Challenges Women Face

September 23, 2016

Dear Julie:

I am a 32 year old single mother. I was raised by both parents till i was 6, moved to Florida with my  mom. My dad joined us when i was 16. I was self conscious about my appearance all through middle school and high school. I tried hard to fit in, and all that trying led me to a party lifestyle. I was out almost every weekend…having relations and one night stands. I always felt like the outcast of the family, the one that was looked down on because of my actions.

I had my child at 27 with a man who was only interested in me for sex. He didn’t want me to keep my child, but I did. My son is now 4 and his presence made a complete change for me. I started thinking about life and wanted to get closer to God. I attended church almost every Sunday while pregnant. At times I felt like the pastor was reading my mind. One Sunday I felt compelled to walk up and be anointed. The moment the pastor placed his hand on my forehead, I felt so light and fell back. I laid there for a few minutes and cried.

After that day i started listening to my inner voice and praying more. I asked God to humble me, strengthen me, to show me what my purpose was in this life. I’ve had moments where i would be sitting watching tv and notice shadows and hear voices and would always see the numbers 911. I did some research and I got goosebumps because what I read was exactly what i was going through. I have moments where commercials would say what I’m feeling. I’ve read things that made my stomach drop because of shock of how correct the readings were. I then started praying more, listening more, and left the party life.

At that time my friends started disappearing. I wasn’t out as much and the signs were still mind-blowing. I looked into the word “empathy ” and felt chills…the descriptions were so correct I began to cry. I feel like I have a gift and I was placed here to help people. Lead them into positive ways. I feel people’s energy and vibes almost instantly. I would wake up at night short of breath and feel as though I was being watched. I still have those feelings and I asked God for more guidance more acceptance more insight. I have become closer to Him but I am still clueless to what some of the signs mean.

My question is how do I become the “light-worker” that God says I am? How do I stop the thoughts of doubt and self pity for not living up to the standards my family has. My brother has his own house, my cousins are all living on their own, and I’m living with my mother. I feel as though it’s not time or God’s will to be like my brother and cousins. I feel sad at times and break into tears when I pray. Sometimes I cry for no reason.

I know He has blessings in store for me, but will my family ever look at me as someone who can provide and not be so distant to me? Will I be a good role model to my son? Will this voice inside keep me sheltered or will I ever be better? I ask Julie to help me find that peace, that solitude, that place where i feel lifted and not frowned upon. I pray for those that have done me wrong and I pray for abundance and growth. I feel like my time is running out and it scares me, but I know I am not in this alone. I have learned to let things go and let God do his work. –Seeking Solitude

Dear Seeking Solitude:

Thank you for sharing your story with us. You have come a long way from being the party girl to someone who has learned to let things go and let God do His work. Yet, some of those old hurts seem to still haunt you and keep you from enjoying the abundant life that God desires for you to have.

As one who knows, there’s nothing you can do about the past. And there’s nothing you can do to change others’ opinions about you. The trouble with trying to please people is that you rarely can. Just about the time you feel you measure up to their standards, their standards change. So realize there’s only one person you need to please–God. And guess what, as His child, you already please Him! He loves you more than you love your little 4-year-old. How can you love Him back?

The best thing you can do is read God’s word, the Bible. Find out what His standards are. You know, His standards never change because He is the same yesterday, today, and forever. Remember that “if God is for us, who can be against us” (Romans 8:31). Be content that the GOD OF ALL CREATION loves you with an everlasting love. He will never leave you, nor forsake you (Hebrews 13:5).

When you came to God, leaving all behind, you became a new creation in Christ–the old has gone, the new has come” (II Corinthians 5:17). What has God got in store for this new you? I don’t know, but I do know this. God requires all of His children to be faithful (I Corinthians 4:2), and also that we should act justly, love mercy, and walk humbly with our God (Micah 6:8).

So maybe you should start there. Get into the Word of God, faithfully do what it says to do, be just and merciful in your dealings with others, and walk humbly with your God. After all you’ve been through, believe me others will see the changes in you. You will be a true “light-worker” as they see your good works and glorify your Father in heaven (Matthew 5:16).

That may not seem as mind-blowing as visions but it is what God calls His children to do and to be–salt and light in the world.And you can do that while raising your child and interacting with others in the world. Trust Him to open the doors that need to open and to shut the doors that need to be shut. May God bless you, dear one, as you learn to walk in His ways and enjoy Him forever. Julie


Remember, friends, as challenges come our way, we can face them head-on
through Christ who strengthens us!

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