Facing our challenges head-on!
Challenges Women Face

May 17, 2016

Dear Julie:

I never in a million years thought I would be writing a message regarding my issue. I married a fabulous man 5 years ago and we lived together for 3. He has 2 daughters (grown with children) and I also have grown children (with children of their own). The youngest of his daughters, we will call Mary, lost a baby 8 years ago. One of the most horrible things I’ve ever witnessed. 4 years later, she got pregnant again with a little boy we will call Will. Mommy and Daddy were elated.

As time went on, we started noticing that they were constantly pushing him off onto other people for no real apparent reason. Will is now 3 and all he wants is to stay home with his mommy and daddy instead of being shipped anywhere else. Daddy lost his job so now he can stay home with Will…WRONG. Always seems to be something more important. Mommy works nights and uses ‘sleep deprivation’ as a reason to not be around him.

I am at my wits end with this and am ready to call child services on my own step-daughter. Am I a horrible person? Will is such a smart lil guy and so full of love. They live in a small, mold filled, stinky house with 2 large dogs. NOT a place for anyone to live. If I call Children Services, I will most definitely lose my husband as this girl can do NO WRONG. Amazes me. What do I do? –Stuck between a rock and a hard place.


Dear Stuck:

First of all, I’m assuming you’ve discussed this with your husband. Surely he’s as concerned about Will’s well-being as you are. Perhaps he is privy to information that you do not know. Yet there are safety concerns that must be addressed (ranging from the mold to postpartum depression to possible abuse).

The child’s well-being is top priority. If you can, find out the reason behind the need for babysitters. Then do everything possible to help your husband come alongside his daughter and help her…either clean up the mold or get to the bottom of any other issues that may be causing this problem. If you determine that the child is suffering from any kind of abuse, you must step in and do everything possible to protect him.

Are you and your husband the main caregivers for Will when he is not at home? If so, is caring for a toddler wearing you down to the point that you need a break? If so, take one before you do something you will long regret. Sadly, tough situations come into our lives unbidden. We don’t ask for them, we don’t want them. But when they come, we must step up to the plate and do the right thing. God will give you strength (Philippians 4:13).

God bless you,


Remember, friends, as challenges come our way, we can face them head-on
through Christ who strengthens us!

If you wish Bible-based advice for a challenge you face, leave a message in the Contact Me box (NOT below in the Comment box) and I’ll answer confidentially on this page. No one will see your photo or name or any other identifying information.

One Responseto “Stuck”

  1. Elaine says:

    I went through this with my own sister, tried for years to help here, cleaned her apt.up, trash out etc….she would leave the small children alone while she slept her drunkeness off.The last straw was when I went over the the toddler was running around in nothing and urine in house.I called SHE on my own sister over 20 years ago and it was the best thing I did for those children! Though I don’t see in your message any alcohol usage, just the filthy house and not wanting to be with the child, are RED Flags for this house and circumstance to be looked into.

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