Facing our challenges head-on!
Challenges Women Face

August 8, 2017

Dear Julie:

I would never normally ask for advice about anything; but I feel if I don’t, I will just keep living in despair and agony. Please note I grew up in an abusive home and then went on to find the same exact kind of man that my mother had married when I was a child. After 12 terrible years but 2 beautiful children, I finally escaped but not without a bloody beating. Then I met someone who also liked to choke me and use scare tactics. Later he left and never came back.

I had a habit of praying for a man who I knew couldn’t possibly exist, for no man has ever treated me any more than a piece of trash.

Well, years go by and very unexpectedly such a man came and showed me the proper way to deal with emotions, how to love and be loved. Everything seemed too good to be true. I was not aware that I was very much in love, surely like I’d never known before.

For the first 2-1/2 years, his mother was polite to me but her true self came crashing right in front of me. You see my fiancé comes from very old money and his father was an architect who built his own fortune. Tragically, he was hit and killed by another driver.

I come from a much different background, absolutely zero family money. I worked so hard to pay for a place to live and food for my two children plus anything else we needed that I ended up having a nervous breakdown. Doctors said no work or I’d risk working myself to death. It was right around then when my fiancé and I started our relationship.

In his mom’s eyes, I was a lazy, moocher, uneducated Native American leech. (Despite everyone trying to keep me from succeeding, I clawed myself to the top and am a licensed LPN!!) She threw all my clothes away, everything but a pair of shoes. Plus I was no longer to live with my fiancé who is 36 years old.

She comes a couple times each week to clean and buy him groceries. During those times I have to pack the few things I managed to keep, hide them, and leave till she’s gone. Anything with my name on it or looks like it could be mine, she throws away. Well, she saw me on the back steps and came at me like she was going to physically attack me saying among other things, “Go back to where you came from, you disgusting loser.”

I’m not so terrible. I got my fiancé off drugs. I once had to do mouth to mouth CPR and narcan him. If I hadn’t sprung into immediate action, he’d be dead or brain dead at the very least. He hasn’t picked it up since. I try to encourage him constantly but, to her, I’m the problem. She doesn’t know me at all and doesn’t even want to try!

I am spiritually and emotionally drained. I am at a point where I don’t want to go on. I see no meaning for me to be alive. I just want to go to sleep and never wake up, so you see I had to reach out to someone because I feel hidden, ashamed of, no good because I can’t work. I carry my suicide note around with me just in case. Please pray for my soul. I am trying to be the bigger person. All I ever wanted to be was a soldier for our heavenly Father. I wanted nothing more… And now I’m a pathetic weak empty shell of a human being. –Trying


Dear Trying:

You have been beaten down so long you need someone to remind you of who you are in Christ. Listen, as God’s child, you are a daughter of the King of kings, sister of Christ Jesus, precious in His sight, joint-heir of all things. When you got saved, you became a new creature in Christ. Old things passed away, all things became new and fresh. You are forgiven. You are as good as anyone else on this earth, on your way to heaven where you will wear white robes and sing in the heavenly chorus, praising our Lord Jesus. God’s Holy Spirit dwells within you.

Anyone who strikes you strikes Him. Anyone who calls you names calls Him names. God resists the proud but gives grace to the humble. So that means when your fiancé’s mother treats you badly, she’s treating Jesus badly. What would Jesus do? He would turn the other cheek. He would say, “Forgive her, Father, for she knows not what she’s doing.”

If you love yourself, you will forgive her and move on. If you allow bitterness to poison your soul, she will have won.

If you love your fiancé, you will forgive her and move on. Show your fiancé how a child of God acts. You haven’t said whether he’s a Christian or not. Maybe by acting like Jesus, you’ll draw him into a saving relationship with Christ. Then he’d have the Holy Spirit living within him giving him strength to resist his temptations, giving him strength to stand up TO his mother, to stand up FOR you.

Anyway, my sister in Christ, why are you living with him when you aren’t married to him? That needs to be addressed. How can you share your faith with him when you are living in disobedience to the Lord? I wish you a world of good things. You are stronger than you think. God is with you and wants to help you. Read your Bible, pray, meditate on His Word, especially this verse: “For I know the thoughts I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope” (Jeremiah 29:11).

God bless,


Remember, friends, as challenges come our way, we can face them head-on through Christ who strengthens us!

If you wish Bible-based advice for a challenge you face, leave a message in the Contact Me box (NOT below in the Comment box) and I’ll answer confidentially on this page. No one will see your name or any other identifying information.

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