Used and Abused

Meeting Our Challenges Head-On!

January 15, 2016

Dear Julie: I need prayers today because I was in a relationship for 20+ years and 6 children. All of a sudden two years ago my husband said is not in love anymore and he made everything seem to be my fault so I changed and did anything to try and fix our relationship. He told me for a year and a half that we was gonna work on our problems but it never happened.

He would text and show bare minimum attention just to have sex and the whole time I thought it was helping and maybe just a little hope that he still wanted me. Jan 1st he told me without a doubt that it is over and there is no chance, but I still keep telling him how much i miss us, him, and a family and still ended up sleeping with him again.

I know for a fact that he is using me and I have gotten the same advice from a hundred people and know what I have to do but my mind will not slow down and tell my heart to stop wishing, wanting and waiting. He has moved on and I just want to be happy. The problems and situations we went through have made me 1000% insecure, put stress on my body and made me shut off the whole world. I need help because my kids nor I deserve to live this way because I cant let go.

I read the bible, pray and try to maintain the most respectful character but the little thoughts that get in my head just wont stop. This is the hardest challenge I have had in my life! I know I have to and want to focus on my children but I sit in my room and watch TV whenever I’m not at work because I just cant get the strength up or desire to do anything. This has devastated my life but I am very strong and I just can’t wait for that strength to kick in.

Thank you very much. God Bless you for hearing my story and praying for me. I don’t want nobody to feel sorry for me I just want the pain to go away. –Used and Abused


Dear Used and Abused: I sense that though you are a strong person, this has knocked the wind out of you. But for the sake of your children, you need to take charge as soon as you possibly can. The pain will go away, but it takes time. Have you a trusted family member, friend, clergyman, or counselor who could walk with you through this rough patch?

We both know that God hates divorce (Malachi 2:16), but He also doesn’t expect you to be abused like this. Though you can’t control the way your husband treats you, you can choose NOT to let him treat you like trash. You are a person of worth, a daughter of the King of Kings.

Your husband will stand before God and have to answer for this. “Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife…and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered” (I Peter 3:7). If your husband ever prays, he may wonder why his prayers aren’t answered. Well, we know why, don’t we?

And, by the way, those thoughts that get into your head? Banish them to hell because that’s where they came from. The devil hates God and delights in hurting him by defeating his beloved children. The Apostle Peter tells us to “Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that your brothers throughout the world are undergoing the same kind of sufferings. And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast. To him be the power forever and ever. Amen” (I Peter 5:8-11).

Be strong, my friend. It’s okay for you to have some righteous indignation here! And remember that many of our readers will join me in praying for you. Please keep in touch. God bless, Julie


Remember, friends, as challenges come our way,we can face them head-on
through Christ who strengthens us!

If you wish Bible-based advice for a challenge you face, leave a message in the Contact Me box (NOT below in the Comment box) and I’ll answer confidentially on this page. No one will see your photo or name or any other identifying information.


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