Facing our challenges head-on!
Challenges Women Face

August 22, 2017

Dear Julie:

I am a Christian, not a perfect one but I am a Christian. I have been friends with someone a very long time and just this January, we became intimate. We both really care for each other, but the only thing is he’s connected to church but doesn’t go. I fear spiritually I’ll go thru some unnecessary trials I could have avoided, but he is an awesome man … quiet, works hard, very gentle but truly a man.

He pays bills and is very active outside the home and is close to his mother. We have so much we love about each other but someone told me that because I have a call on my life, he wouldn’t fit where God is about to take me spiritually. We don’t want to let go or see other people. I just know we developed a love for each other that is really really tight and real but am I just being blindsided. Is this really my soulmate or a soul tie? –Waiting for my Boaz

Dear Waiting:

I respect you for wanting God’s best and your desire for your Boaz. The question is, of course, is this friend your Boaz? He sounds like a wonderful man, but is he your Boaz? Boaz was a man of God, one who was gentle and respectful of Ruth, who did not take advantage of her vulnerability but, instead, gave her wise counsel and did what he could to protect her livelihood as well as her reputation.

Your friend is lacking one very important thing. It is not clear he is a Christian. Though he is connected to a church, he does not fellowship in his church. That is a warning. Scripture says that we are not to forsake the assembling of believers (Hebrews 10:24). Scripture warns against unequal yoking (Christian with a non-Christian) because, as you said, spiritually you will go through some unnecessary trials.

Until you know whether or not he’s a true believer, I would spend time on my knees praying for him to find the joy of the Lord so that you two can worship God together and spend the rest of your life praising Him.

Then, once you know he is a for-real Christian, I would push for marriage. Save intimacy until you are married. God bless you, Julie


Remember, friends, as challenges come our way, we can face them head-on through Christ who strengthens us!

If you wish Bible-based advice for a challenge you face, leave a message in the Contact Me box (NOT below in the Comment box) and I’ll answer confidentially on this page. No one will see your name or any other identifying information.


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