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Needing Peace

Facing our challenges head-on!

Challenges Women Face

February 19, 2016

Hi Julie:

As I read these incredible posts, my story is the same. My husband of 9-1/2 years (and together for 21 years) is cheating on me. This blindsided me. I found a text message on 12/8, and told him to  leave. Then I started missing him and couldn’t function. I begged him to come back . We spoke and I thought we were good, but he kept on lying. Then on 12/28 I found incriminating text messages and phone calls. That was it. I told him to leave . He cursed me out and left.

Since then he has cut off all communication with me, and that’s what hurts the most. He calls and texts the boys but not as much as before. I feel guilty, as if it’s my fault, as if I caused this. I begged and begged him to come home cause I can’t eat sleep or function without him. He said he’s not coming back.

I know it’s not my fault, but I feel as if it is. I cry every day and stay in my room. I know it will get better but I need some positive scriptures, words of encouragement, to post on my walls in my room and bathroom. I need to start healing for myself and my boys.

I went to therapy for a week and it helped. I have no support. It’s always been my husband and me. Now I have to try and move on for myself and the boys. I need strength and I know that if I continue to remain in faith  everything will work.  But then my mind starts to think negative thoughts. I know it is the devil. I want my marriage to work, but it takes two and he has checked out.  Please help. -Confused and Needing Peace.

*****

Dear Confused and Needing Peace:

God bless you. You nailed it when you said, “I want my marriage to work, but it takes two and he has checked out.” It sounds to me like you know what to do but the heartbreak and negative thoughts (and you know where those come from) are derailing you.

Let me just encourage you to continue to read your Bible, think positive thoughts, care for your boys, and get back in therapy if you can. If you have insurance, some companies will cover counseling/therapy. If not, search for resources in your city. In some cities there are counseling services that charge on a sliding scale and even offer pro bono services when needed.

Remember, this is NOT your fault. Your husband has been deceptive and unfaithful and cruel. If he should repent and come back, be sure he’s sincere. Require that you get married couples counseling to try to figure out where things went off course. And then get plugged into a church where there will be godly men to hold him accountable.

“Finally, brothers (sisters), whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable–if anything is excellent or praiseworthy–think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me–put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you” (Philippians 4:8-9).

God bless you,
Julie

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Remember, friends, as challenges come our way,we can face them head-on
through Christ who strengthens us!

If you wish Bible-based advice for a challenge you face, leave a message in the Contact Me box (NOT below in the Comment box) and I’ll answer confidentially on this page. No one will see your photo or name or any other identifying information.

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