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At Wit’s End

 Facing our challenges head-on!
Challenges Women Face

September 30, 2016

Dear Julie:

I came across a post of yours & it spoke volumes to me. I have been seeking validation in many areas of my life. I am a divorced woman & it seems the last 5 years of my life have been a total mess & super rocky. I lost my job a few years back & haven’t been able to recoup financially. I have lost everything including custody of my children to my ex-spouse, falling into a deep depression. I haven’t been able to find that genuine love either within a relationship.

After my initial separation, I got involved in a relationship that lasted a year and a half. It ended b/c I was still an emotional mess. (My ex-husband could be very abusive, very jealous & was a serial cheater.)

Shortly after the last relationship ended, I met another man & we became instant friends as we were both going through our divorces. We fell for each other for what seemed to be the wrong time. Trying to save him from the depths of his depression & love him put me in a position of emptiness. I felt I loved him so much that I needed to show him my love losing myself in the process. This went on for 3 years, on & off, finally coming to abrupt end a year ago.

It was like he used me to grow, to heal, & then when he was ready & was okay, he found someone else & did with her everything he had promised to do with me, leaving me emptier than I had ever felt in my life, heartbroken & totally devastated! He was my best friend & hurt me to my very core & soul.

It’s been a year & I am still trying to get over the pain. It seems as if I am blocked from love or any blessings for that matter. I can’t seem to find a good man to love me for me. They like me for my looks & it’s all superficial. This has taken a toll on my career, my finances, and my family.

I need guidance on how to get back on my feet again as I feel lost & hopeless. I wasn’t always this way . . . I was ambitious and had drive. I don’t seem to have that anymore, & I feel my life is over. I am at my wits end with everything. –At Wits End
*****

Dear At Wits End:

Your self-confidence has taken a big hit over the past five years and it will take awhile to get it back. Be patient with yourself, get comfortable with yourself, make friendships with other women, network with people in your old line of work. All of these things will help you to see you DO have a future and that you can rise above the setbacks you’ve experienced.

These things will show you do NOT NEED A MAN IN YOUR LIFE TO BE FULFILLED. Our readers will tell you that what you DO need is a relationship with God himself through his Son Jesus. Once you understand that you can be loved unconditionally by the God of the Universe, it doesn’t seem so important or daunting to find that right man.

That is, I believe, what started you on this downward spiral in the first place…this feeling of needing a man. You haven’t had very good success with men in the past. Why not turn this search over to God and, while he is preparing the man for you, learn to live and prosper on your own. You can do it. You’ve shown you could in the past. It’s time to re-find your groove! Go, fight, and win! I know you can. God bless, Julie

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Remember, friends, as challenges come our way, we can face them head-on
through Christ who strengthens us!

If you wish Bible-based advice for a challenge you face, leave a message in the Contact Me box (NOT below in the Comment box) and I’ll answer confidentially on this page. No one will see your photo or name or any other identifying information.

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