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Deeply Broken

Facing our challenges head-on!
Challenges Women Face

August 25, 2017

Dear Julie:

I am 33 years old and the mother of 2 little boys, but a couple years ago I decided to marry my youngest son’s dad. BIG MISTAKE on my part as he had already filed for divorce before we said our vows. He was verbally and physically abusive and finally, after seeing my young son start to hit, I left with divorce papers in hand. I’m juggling life one day at a time, but my youngest son (a toddler) curses, hits, screams when he is denied something. “No” is a lesson in itself, we will hear no more than yes in life.

I’m tired of arguing with a toddler. What can I do to improve his actions with school just around the corner for him? This behavior will not be acceptable in class. –Deeply Broken

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Dear Deeply Broken:

Children will imitate what they see in the home, whether it’s acceptable or not. Your little one picked up some bad habits from his father and it will take some time to undo the damage. Continue to set a good example for him and explain to him that his behavior is unacceptable. It was unacceptable for his dad and it’s unacceptable for him. You know he can do better. (Be careful that you don’t convey the message that you’ll divorce/leave him for that bad behavior. With Daddy it was different.)

Do you have a good male role model that can teach your son how a good and godly man acts? Do you go to church? Is there someone there the pastor can recommend? You are wise to try to get your son under control before he starts school. I would advise you to meet with the teacher before school starts (if his behavior is still unacceptable by then) and explain the situation. Tell her you are working with him and will work with her to improve your little guy’s behavior and attitudes.

A book that helped me when I was raising toddlers was written by Dr. James Dobson and it was called Dare to Discipline. It’s been updated and is available at https://www.amazon.com/New-Dare-Discipline-James-Dobson/dp/141.

At the present time, the main thing your toddler needs to understand is that you are Mommy and you make the decisions for his own good and safety. You will not tolerate screaming, cursing, or tantrums. There will be consequences. You will have to determine what works with him. Time-outs, depriving him of some toy for a while or even a swat (not abuse, mind you). Afterward, reinforce your relationship. Tell him you love him, talk to him about Jesus, and hug him. Explain to him that, just like Jesus, you will never leave him or forsake him. He’s little, he’s afraid, he needs understanding and a firm hand. Being a mom is not easy, but God will give you the strength you need.

Blessings, Julie

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Remember, friends, as challenges come our way, we can face them head-on through Christ who strengthens us!

If you wish Bible-based advice for a challenge you face, leave a message in the Contact Me box (NOT below in the Comment box) and I’ll answer confidentially on this page. No one will see your name or any other identifying information.

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