Feeling Lost

“Comfort ye, comfort ye my people,” (Isaiah 40:1)

October 27, 2017

Dear Julie:

I am currently battling my mind and my heart. I lost my man of 3 years on Dec. 22.2015. He was senselessly murdered while driving. I was surely in love with him. It has been 9 months now and, although I know the pain just won’t up and walk away, I try to take steps every day to ease the pain including prayer and occupying my time with friends.

But it just seems like the odds are against me because when I take a step forward I feel like I end up falling 10 steps backward. Do you think I’m trying to force the pain to go away and that’s why I’m regressing? It just hurts beyond mental capacity. I just want the pain to be gone. –Feeling Lost


Dear Feeling Lost:

I’m sorry. Sometimes life can seem so unfair. Losing the man you loved dearly in such a senseless way is tragic. Just today I had lunch with a friend who lost her grown son in a senseless way a year ago. She feels like she’ll never recover. Like you, she feels that, though she tries to move forward, she’s constantly moving backward.

Sometimes we feel that if we move on, it’s the same as rejecting our loved one. But, dear one, I’m certain that your loved one would want the best for you. He would not want you to become buried in your grief. He would want you to find happiness again. Continue to pray and go out with your friends. Spend time with children and learn to laugh again. Maybe you can volunteer or find work in a school.

One thing I’ve learned is that we can’t force the pain to go away. But we can learn, a step at a time, to live again. We can give ourselves the freedom to enjoy life. Look at the beauty around us in nature. Buy yourself a bouquet of assorted flowers and study the amazing differences in them. Consider God the Creator. He made those flowers. He made you. He loves and cares for you. He will never leave you or forsake you. He knows the plans he has for you, plans for good and not for evil, plans for a future and a hope. Bask in his love and rest in his almighty power. Trust him to lead you out of despair (Psalm 140:1) and lead you in paths of righteousness for his name’s sake (Psalm 23). Please keep in touch. I care. God bless. Julie


Remember, friends, as challenges come our way, we can face them head-on through Christ who strengthens us!

If you wish Bible-based advice for a challenge you face, leave a message in the Contact Me box (NOT below in the Comment box) and I’ll answer confidentially on this page. No one will see your name or any other identifying information.

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