Lost and Confused

 Facing our challenges head-on!
Challenges Women Face

March 6, 2017

Dear Julie:

Ever since I could remember I craved my father’s attention and praise. Instead I got his anger and harsh words. Due to my father’s careless drunken mistakes with me, it has led me to accept and be accustomed to abuse.

My mother has had a very bad drug problem with meth for as long as I can remember. Starting at age 10, I was angry and scared I would lose her. She would beg me not to tell my father. I regrettably used that to my advantage and I would bribe her. She continued to do it again, and again, and again. She would at times do it in front of me with her friends, while I put my shirt over my face and cover my nose so I wouldn’t smell it or inhale it. This went on for about 5 more years.

I learned to accept it, but made me feel entitled to treating my mom like crap, because I felt in a way she ruined my life. Same for my father, but he only got drunk and beat me or my brother for no reasons at times. He would try to put the “fear of God” in us by saying that he was God. When I was 16 I placed me an my brother in foster care, because I was done being beat for no reason and I was tired of it all from my both my parents.

When I was 18 I came back and I apologized, but I never received one in return. At 19 I became pregnant with my first child, I was living with my ex and his family. I was mentally and emotionally abused for 2 years by them. My son was born in January of 2013 but my ex took him the following December when I was sleeping. I have only seen him probably a total of 4 times since then.

I try so hard to be there and do my best to help. I’m still labeled as a “deadbeat.” Now four years later I have another son who is almost 2 months old, but I’m with someone 15 years older than me who, In a lot of ways, sometimes reminded me of my dad.

Just last night I was told he would not communicate his feelings with me, and he refused to learn how to for my sake. Despite all the hurt and betrayal in my life, I haven’t ever touched drugs. I’ve only drunk to have fun. And yet I am looking for love in all the wrong places. The last two years I have learned more about God, and I love that he is INDEED LOVE, but why haven’t I experienced love the way I know he would like me to? Why hasn’t anyone loved me the way I love them? I just need guidance, wisdom, and understanding. Sincerely, lost and confused

Dear Lost and Confused:

I’m so very sorry for all the heartache you’ve experienced at the hands of those who were supposed to love and protect you. It has to break God’s heart. I congratulate you for learning from the mistakes of others and not touching drugs.

I would suggest you make a fresh start. Continue to get to know God. Read the Bible, pray, find a good Bible-believing church and get to know some godly older women (your pastor could help line you up with someone) who could be a good role model and mother figure to you and help you to grow in your faith and walk with the Lord. It’s important that you concentrate on yourself and your child. Don’t revisit your old hurts and those who let you down. Move forward and be safe in God’s care.

Let the Lord God  bring the right people into your life, and I assure you that anyone sent by God will be honest and upright, a strong believer in Jesus Christ, kind, and caring. Perfect? No. No one is perfect, but he’ll be walking in paths of righteousness following after God. For sure, stay away from any man who reminds you of your father. May alarm bells sound if you are tempted in that way again.

Be blessed, dear one. I’m praying for you. Julie


Remember, friends, as challenges come our way, we can face them head-on
through Christ who strengthens us!

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