Seeking God’s Favor

 Facing our challenges head-on!
Challenges Women Face

May 13, 2016

Dear Julie,

I’ve been divorced for 3 months, and sometimes I still contact my ex and him me.  I really want to be in a healthy relationship with marriage someday.  My ex has addictions with porn and food and doesn’t get help.  That is why I divorced him.  He was so into lying to me for years.  He professes to be a Christian.  He struggles a lot and sometimes I try to help him by showing kindness and love.

Also,  I just get so lonely that I call him at times.  I am somewhat self conscious and feel negative about myself  so its hard to have healthy communication with men.  I believe that someday God will bring someone else to love and I just need to keep busy living and seeking Gods favor.  Any advice you can give I’d appreciate it. –Seeking God’s Favor


Dear Seeking God’s Favor:

It’s natural and understandable that you would continue to have feelings for your husband only three months after your divorce. When you married, you chose him above all others and, no doubt, had high hopes for a happy and healthy relationship.

His lying and addictions to porn and food, however, came between you. His professing to be a Christian made things even worse because you’d expect him to get help to overcome his addictions, either from a counselor, a pastor, or directly from God.

As difficult as it is to live with an addict, we all recognize that addictions are a tricky business. The addict himself often feels guilt and impotency because of his inability to overcome them. Then he lies to cover up his activities. It’s a sickness that requires treatment like other sicknesses. And he apparently hasn’t sought that.

Of course, as his mate, you feel betrayed. But, at the same time, you do try to help him by showing kindness and love. Maybe deep down, you wonder if there is still hope for this man. Is it possible you still love him? Is it possible that, with help, the two of you could rebuild the marriage?

You admit you are lonely and that you struggle with your own problems with self-consciousness and negativity about yourself. These things have kept you from having healthy communication with men– including, possibly your ex-husband. Perhaps you yourself would benefit from some Christian counseling in order to discover what are the causes for your own self-consciousness and negativity about yourself.

Whether or not you feel there’s hope to restore your marriage with your ex-husband, I believe you are following the right course of action by being kind to him while, at the same time, keeping busy living and seeking God’s favor. God will direct you and show you the way you should go. “The LORD will fulfill his purpose for me” (Psalm 138:8). I wish you all the best. Julie


Remember, friends, as challenges come our way, we can face them head-on
through Christ who strengthens us!

If you wish Bible-based advice for a challenge you face, leave a message in the Contact Me box (NOT below in the Comment box) and I’ll answer confidentially on this page. No one will see your photo or name or any other identifying information.

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