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Standing in Need of Prayer

“Comfort ye, comfort ye my people,” (Isaiah 40:1)siblings

November 14, 2017

Dear Julie:

In February 2016, April 2016, and October 2016, I lost my father, my mother and one of two brothers. I was really devastated when my father passed away and even worse when my mother passed away. When my brother died, I was numb and sadly am still numb.

Everything regarding my parents’ estate has been left for me to handle with no assistance from my remaining brother. The only assistance that he gave was to take out of our parents’ house what he and his wife wanted. He has not provided any financial assistance in the upkeep of the family dwelling, and the last time I saw or spoke to him, briefly, was at our brother’s funeral in October 2016.

He put on a real “show” at our mother’s funeral to the point that other family members asked me if he was “Ok” in the head. I had to ask God to help me with the resentment that I felt toward him. I know that death brings out the worst in people. Yet, he portrays himself as a Christian. I really can’t understand why he has turned against me, but I am all right with not speaking or seeing him.

I know that God must handle this situation and change hearts. I know that God answers prayers because he has changed my anger toward my brother and softened my heart. If he were to need me, I’d help him, gladly, but will I ever get over his betrayal?—Standing in Need of Prayer

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Dear Standing,

I am so sorry for your pain. Losing our parents is one of the hardest things in life. And then, on top of it, to lose your brother! As for your remaining brother, it’s not unusual for siblings to act in different ways. You are dealing with your pain in a constructive way by allowing your heart to be softened against your brother and his wife.

I don’t know your particular situation but I do believe that generally the best thing to do is to hire a lawyer who deals in estates to help you navigate the maze of details. If possible, get yourself set up as personal representative since you are handling everything. As P.R., you are entitled to a fee for all the work you will need to do.

Prepare to receive criticism no matter what you do but you are serving as Christ’s representative in handling your parents’ affairs. If you sell the house, there will be many considerations but the lawyer can help you with that.

Will you ever get over his betrayal? Only if you let Jesus apply his balm of forgiveness. He wants you free of bitterness because bitterness defiles many, starting with you and those you love (Hebrews 12:15).

To help you deal with your grief, I recommend joining a support group. One of the best is Grief Share. Find a group near you at their website: <https://www.griefshare.org/findagroup>.

God bless you. Julie

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Remember, friends, as challenges come our way, we can face them head-on through Christ who strengthens us!

If you wish Bible-based advice for a challenge you face, contact me here (NOT below in the Comment box) and I’ll answer confidentially on this page. No one will see your name or any other identifying information.

 

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